Apizza Scholls...

The owner has been known to mouth the words, "If they don't like it, they can go somewhere else," when questioned about his nazi-esque control over the ingredients that are applied to your pie. But, since this isn't just any pie, but thee pie. Since I don't consider it controlling, but rather respecting. I can tell you that if you're a cry baby that believes the customer is always right, just save face now and not even show up. Thank you.

Apizza Scholls doesn't open up until 5pm and closes at 9:30pm. That's right, four hours a day. However, we were in line 15 minutes before 5pm. We were the only two people in line. The two of us stared at each other as if to say, "What are you doing in line so early you freak?" Until we turned around 15 minutes later and the line was down the street. Whoa, what the fuck happened? This line grows quickly, turning SE Hawthorne into a river of oxbows, snaking down the pavement. Until a random passerby asks you, "What's this line for? The 5 o'clock free crack give away?" It's not free, but it pretty much described the situation to a tee. That dude was weird, but funny.



As the door opens, the line rushes into the dining room. Before you know it, a pie sits in front of you on a pedestal. And that damn thing deserves a pedestal. They don't hide or avoid the charred bubbles on the crust, they embrace those delicious pockets of flavor. Thin enough to hear the crackle, thick enough to sustain the toppings and that flavorful sauce that lightly coats the bottom, all until it all reaches your salivating mouth.

1/2 Pizza Amore and 1/2 New York White Pie. That hot capicollo is something to talk about. It's got a serious kick in the teeth, adds a nice fattiness to an otherwise light pizza. Super fresh Ricotta, Mozzarella, Pecorino Romano...for the love of cheese culture holiness.

I don't care if this place is hyped, it deserves it. I've eaten at so many pizza joints that are self-proclaimed as "the best of" only to be met with Little Ceasar's. I'm tired of their mouth moving. I've heard no hype from the owner of this joint, only of those who have taken the pilgrimage to find out for themselves.






4741 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Portland, OR 97215
Neighborhoods: Southeast Portland, Hawthorne

(503) 233-1286